No-one can know...

Yes, I know she looks like a boy in it -.-; people mistake my char as a boy even more often than me!
I tried to get the water right, oppinions?

Background is at [link]

One thing I've always hated... someone who doesn't know me or just has never seen my cry, watching my suddenly break down...
I was at a friend’s party and while she was busy doing something, I was sitting alone... thinking... And as I thought, I realized something that scared me... I could not revive the image of Pepper in my mind... I felt like he was fading...
One of my friend's aunts sat next ot me... she asked me what I was doing over the summer.
I began to describe random things, trying to hide my real feelings... until I just had to say it out loud...
I mixed it into the conversation by saying "I had a kitten for half the summer"
When she questioned and began to answer that he had been hit but began to break down it tears. I covered my face to hide it, but my wavering voice was enough.
My friend returned at that moment and I could sense her staring at me in confusion and her aunt told her what I had said. I wiped my eyes as quickly as I could and tried to say that I was fine... My voice sure didn't sound fine.
After that I quickly brought back control and though her aunt was giving me a slightly funny look for a little while, eventually she stopped and I managed to have loads of fun with my friend and her family.

When it was all over we went home. My friend had been excited about going on a big trip with me the next day, as my parents had said yes previously. When they changed their mind my friend was miserable.
That night I went to my parents and told them I wanted to see pictures of Pepper... to revive the image in my mind...
I began to draw this picture even later that night but didn't want anyone to see so I tried to hide it... someone found it anyway, moving some stuff, and my parents came holding it. I snatched it as quickly as I could and listened as she seemed sure it was because I couldn't go on the trip...
After I explained to them, they asked me why I hid it. It felt obvious to me but I stated "I don't like to talk about it"

Well now I have spoken about it—I felt anyone who bothers read this deserves to know the truth…